Educating the world about Reactive Attachment Disorder through experience, hope, humor and love.
(Warning: nothing here should be taken as medical advice)

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Hugs n Stuff....

Last Friday my wife came home really upset over some things that had happened at work. And I think anybody would have been upset – if we could afford for her to stop working, I would tell her to quit right now. But we can’t (yet), so she has to try and push through it.

But that isn’t the point here. The point is what happened next. She was sitting at the table when RAD came over and gave her a genuine hug. A truly genuine hug with no ulterior motive. If you don’t have a RAD at home, this may seem like nothing special to you, but for those of you with RADs.. well… you know what I’m talking about! It’s rare moments like these that give us hope and the strength to carry on with what sometimes seems an impossible task.

I’ll admit. There are times when I see other happy families out and about, with happy children who hang on / hug / hold hands with their parents and I have my moments of jealousy. These parents who take such things for granted while us RAD parents struggle for any glimpse of empathy or emotion at times. If they only knew how good they have it! But then I look at my girls and I wouldn’t trade them for anything. Every family has its good and bad times. It’s just that with RADs, the bad times have this naughty habit of outnumbering the good. But then my head clears and I can step back and realize just how GOOD we do have it. For non-RAD parents, a hug is just a hug. A hand hold is just a hand hold. But for us, it’s an amazing event. It’s so unexpected and unusual and means soooo much more if it happens only once per week. Much like when you’re on a diet – that slice of chocolate cake that you allow yourself once a week seems to taste just that much better. So it is with our RADs holding our hands (regardless of whether they are covered in chocolate or not!) or giving us a hug.

So the next time your child comes to give you a hug, hold them a little longer, a little tighter, and appreciate the gift you’re being given – I know I cherish them... Every. Single. One.

1 comment:

  1. Oh my heart skipped a beat -- soooo happy for your wife!!!!!