So many topics to write about. There is so much to learn, so much to read, so much to DO that sometimes I wish there were more than 24 hours in the day. I have so immersed myself into learning all I can about Attachment issues that I can barely keep up with it all. But that's not what I want to talk about today. Today I want to talk about pride. Not the "I'm hella proud of myself for (insert whatever here)", but the beaming pride only those exposed to children can understand. My girls have gone through so much, and they certainly have their problems, but when I look at them (especially when they are sleeping) I am truly and honestly proud of who they are becoming. Certainly I don't feel this way all the time. I get angry with them, I get frustrated, I even just get plain sick and tired of dealing with them and the problems they create, but all that melts away when I look at them sleeping peacefully.
Yesterday RAD had her first day at her summer camp. It's a special camp run by the Seneca Center of San Francisco that caters to children with mental health issues. It's free (yay!) and somewhat exclusive - not all of the children referred are accepted, and that referral has to come from a case worker at one of several centers around the city. But she got in and although she will miss the third week due to her trip to grandmas, she will be there for 2 weeks. Of course, whenever there is something like this I figuratively hold my breath the entire time she's gone. Since she is a type 1 diabetic, anything could happen, and that anything could have fatal results. Not that it has yet (duh, or I wouldn't be writing this in the present tense), but the potential is there, and she DOES have a history of using her diabetes to control situations. Needless to say, diabetes + RAD is not one of the more comforting combinations I can think of.
Regardless, she returned home last night and although her glucose levels weren't good, she managed to catch it and fix them by the time she got home. PLUS, she had a great time! Of course, she can always keep things up for a day or two... it's typically day #3 where things fall apart, but I'll happily take two days of responsible behavior! Today however, is a whole 'nother story... they're heading to Great America (an amusement park about 50 miles away) and again, her history is to "forget" to manage her diabetes when she's having fun, but she did ok last time she went so I'm hoping for a repeat performance.
Then there is ODD... she had a great day yesterday as well! She totally lived up to my benchmark of "Responsible, Respectful, and Fun To Be Around" (RRFTBA). She is another one who looks so peaceful and untroubled when she's sleeping (can't say as much when she's busy screaming throughout the house in one of her rages). She's very excited about her upcoming solo trip to Seattle to see her aunt and new cousin, but things like this usually set her off and for some reason it hasn't yet.
So this morning I got to start my day looking at my two beautiful daughters with a heart full of pride and love. I wish every parent could start their day this way and have it stick with them throughout all the ups and downs... I think we, as parents, would be far better off for it.
(Of course, you need to go look at your own kids - please don't let me catch you in my kids bedrooms while they're sleeping!!)