Educating the world about Reactive Attachment Disorder through experience, hope, humor and love.
(Warning: nothing here should be taken as medical advice)

Monday, July 18, 2011

Immaturity

Children who suffer from RAD oftentimes are emotionally much younger than they are physically. Although this may not be quite as noticeable when they are 6, by the time they become teenagers it becomes very apparent. Let's take my 15 (almost 16) year old as an example. She's very bright, slightly above average IQ, does well with her schoolwork (when she wants to), and her last report card showed a 3.2 GPA. Yet, she can't be trusted on her own. And when she gets together with her 11 (almost 12) year old sister, you can expect some sort of disaster.

Friday afternoon the two of them were home alone for about 2 hours. One would think that a 15 year old and a 12 year old could stay out of trouble for 2 hours, but not these two. They decided, for some unknown reason, that it would be cool to open up a bag of unripe plums they had collected that morning at the park and throw them out our living room window at people walking by. I know! It makes you just shake your head in disbelief (well, it does me anyway).

But, that isn't enough. Oh no. Yesterday we were returning from the park and pulled into our driveway when another car pulled in behind us and screeched to a stop. I got out of the car and the other driver jumped out to tell me "somebody from your car threw something out and it hit my car". *sigh* Of course both girls denied throwing ANYTHING out the window but it was obvious they were lying. I profusely apologized to the guy and thankfully he was pretty cool about it, but the girls just sat in the back seat, refusing to acknowledge they had done anything, and of course there was no way they were going to get out and apologize (getting an apology from a RAD at the time it's deserved is... well... let's just say it's practically impossible. The way the RAD brain works is that when the RAD gets stressed - as in when something happens they should apologize for - they shut down. Completely. And you aren't going to get anything through to them at that point.). Luckily the guy accepted my "I'll deal with them, thank you" and left, because if he had demanded an apology it would have gotten really messy, really fast.

This, of course, means I have to give up my coveted front seat and start riding in the back so we can separate the two. It's the only way to keep them out of trouble it appears. Having them sit on their hands or keep their hands on the back of the seat in front of them will have to come later. In the meantime, it's like having two small children in large bodies....

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