Educating the world about Reactive Attachment Disorder through experience, hope, humor and love.
(Warning: nothing here should be taken as medical advice)

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

destruction and drama

Came across a photo last night.  It was an old photo - maybe 15 years old, where the wife, oldest daughter and I were all standing in our Halloween costumes.  Or at least that's what it used to be.  Both the wife and daughter had been torn out of it. 

Since we (well, we being the little sister) found it in a box of stuff in the garage that belonged to the older sister, it was pretty obvious who had done the 'pre photoshop style editing' job.  So we asked her about it.

Instantly she became really upset.  We weren't accusing her, we weren't even mad at her.  We were just a bit shocked and definitely confused.  Why did she do that?  It's not like her love-hate relationship with her step mother is any big secret.  Some days step mom has a closer relationship with her than I do, other days.. not so much.  (thankfully, there are more 'good' days than not, but it hasn't always been that way). 

But why rip up the photo?  Obviously she was mad at the time.  Ok.  Got it. 

But it wasn't the ripped photo that carried through the night - that was pretty much addressed and done with.  But daughter refused to eat dinner.  Said she didn't want to listen to people whispering about the photo (eh?).  She refused to tell me when or why, saying she didn't understand why people are upset.  After all, "it's just a picture".

And it is "just a picture".  And in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't matter.  Nor does the When or the Why it was ruined.  Those are pretty easy to figure out and are pretty much par for the course when it comes to RAD.  But I can't figure out her reaction.  Was she upset at herself for ruining the picture when she was mad?  Was she upset that I was upset that she ripped step mom out of the photo?  Was she just upset about.. well.. I dunno?!?!  Is she PMSing?  Is something going on at school? (oh wait, yesterday was the first day of Summer vacation - at least we didn't have THAT blow up.. yet)...

Just when I think I have a handle on this thing, I find that's only on the surface... underneath RAD is a whole world of WTF...

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