Educating the world about Reactive Attachment Disorder through experience, hope, humor and love.
(Warning: nothing here should be taken as medical advice)

Monday, December 19, 2011

CRI'd counselors

Sometimes we're blessed and run into people that truly "get it".  It's those people that make our daily routine easier, or just easier in general - especially when things get rough.  I know when I run into those people I try to really appreciate them and their presence, because they don't come along often.  The counselors at my daughters DTC are NOT those people.

They started off ok, saying things like "you're the experts on your daughter" and stuff like that, but I knew when we heard "we really don't know anything about diabetes but..." that it was going to be all down hill from there.  Sure, their advice would work if we didn't have that particular issue in the mix - it certainly complicates things.  But these guys are of the "know it all" variety and think they are Gods gifts to troubled children.  Sure, if we weren't dealing with the diabetes we COULD let our daughter experience natural consequences, but we are so we can't.  And yes, we do know that she uses her diabetes as a control game and that 90% of our meetings involve discussions about the diabetes, but it's our job as parents to keep her safe.

It wouldn't be so bad if these two weren't so damn smug about it.  They really irk me for that reason. When I pointed out that for the past 5 years or so we have had CPS and the doctors jumping down our necks demanding that we do "anything you have to do to keep her safe, no matter what", this advice of "you need to let her do her thing and experience the consequences now while she's still young" just doesn't fly.  I'm sorry, but we know *exactly* what happens when we "let her do her thing", and it invariably involves dangerously high or low blood sugars - to the point where she's on the brink of death at times. 

And the worst part is, this guy is so smug he actually believes he can get all of "the agencies" together, in one room, to agree on his approach... uhh yeah, I'll believe it when I see it.  If he can get CPS to agree that it's ok for us to allow our daughter to lapse into a coma, and the doctors to agree that the organ damage done as a result of consistently high blood sugars is really not such a bad thing after all, then perhaps we'll be a little more receptive to his approach.  But until he manages to do that he is going to see us, as many of them do, simply as hostile, uncooperative parents. 

He's not the one who spends night after night of little sleep because of the fear that his daughters blood sugars won't come up.  He's not the one facing the prospect of having his daughter go blind at a young age due to diabetic complications.  It's not his issue if she has a heart attack at age 25 or loses a foot at age 30 - he'll be done with her by then.  But we won't.  We won't ever stop worrying or caring for her, and letting her "experience natural consequences" now only means those other "natural consequences" are likely to happen sooner.

But, like he said - they don't understand diabetes. Well Mr Counselor guys - you're about to get an education!

1 comment:

  1. Wow, can't imagine if my RAD had diabetes too. We have tons of problems with her stealing food. She has admitted she only likes food when she can steal or beg for it. I finally had to get the Dr. to write for her school to no longer give her junk food and candy (which is against their own school policy but we were told to get a Dr's excuse) Then when we got the note and I wrote a letter about RAD kids and sugar and how her meds make her at a higher risk for diabetes and how sugar=attachment for many RAD's(she wanted the school to be her parents because they gave her better candy then we did) they almost called CPS on us. We were also told we need to let 10 year old RAD, FASD, ADHD, ODD, 60IQ child to grow up and make her own mistakes! They don't seem to get that her mistakes could literally kill her! The other 4 of my kids I do let learn from natural consequences but this child is not attached, goes out of her way to hurt others and goes off with strangers. She has no self control, no good decision making skills and has no attachment to us and is always taking off to find "better parents" but we are supposed to let her make her own mistakes. I just don't get some people. We need to get her out of that school!