Educating the world about Reactive Attachment Disorder through experience, hope, humor and love.
(Warning: nothing here should be taken as medical advice)

Monday, November 7, 2011

1 week into the honeymoon...

"You know what I hate about being born to you and Pam?"

That was the question my oldest daughter asked of me the other day and my mind instantly began racing.  It could be so many things.  The diabetes, the drugs, the Erbs palsy, the fact that her mother doesn't call, the fact that we're not together... the list goes on and on.  It's amazing how many thoughts can run through your head in the span of a single second.  I was prepared for anything.

"Why do I have to be so tall?"

Sometimes I think I forget that even at 16, she's still just a kid.  Granted, she's just shy of 5'11, but I wasn't expecting such a simple answer to her question.  16 going on 12 is the way her case worker put it, and sometimes that shows more than others.  When the biggest worry a 16 year old has is not being able to buy skull and crossbone tights because she's too tall for what they have at the store we're at, I would consider that a good thing.  All in all, she's been doing really well with the move. Of course, we don't expect that to last - even the counselor at her new school slipped up next to me at the Open House last week and asked "how's the honeymoon coming?". 

Does he "get it"?  I don't know.  Sometimes he does, other times he seems completely taken by her charm (and charming she can be!).  I suppose time will tell.  In the meantime we can't let our guard down.  As much as we'd love to be able to relax and just let things be, we have found time and time again that doesn't work.  Certainly we can take advantage of this lull and give extra privileges and extend a little more trust as we did yesterday when we were at the mall and gave her $2 cash to go buy whatever she wanted.  She, of course, returned with ice cream but didn't eat it all (it WAS delicious!) and managed to keep her blood sugars from shooting sky high, so we couldn't be more happy with her behavior yesterday.  But the patterns of the past, and the knowledge of how her mind works keeps us from proclaiming she's "cured". 

I hope this new school will take full advantage of this honeymoon period and really help us show her how nice and rewarding good behavior can be.  I know they are all bracing for when the honeymoon period ends (I'd be willing to put money on next week - I think by the end of this week she'll have em all figured out), but in the meantime we're going to try to keep it going as long as we can.

Of course, when one of our daughters is "being good", it seems to be a cue for the other to create a ton of drama, and she's certainly living up to that. 

Love my girls, hate the drama....

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