Educating the world about Reactive Attachment Disorder through experience, hope, humor and love.
(Warning: nothing here should be taken as medical advice)

Sunday, August 19, 2012

The Looming Transition

Soon the transition begins.  One more week of DTC, then a break for one week, then the fall session begins.  And with that comes the transition to the general High School  It's only 2 classes a day (after lunch), and after speaking with another parent whose daughter recently transitioned, it sounds like they have good support in place, but my daughter didn't do so well at the general High School before.  So we are undoubtedly anxious.  My daughter definitely has it in her to succeed if she chooses, it's just that she doesn't have the best history of making the best choices.  As with most children afflicted with RAD, it's all about the instant gratification, the NOW - consequences be damned.  Those can be dealt with later.  And that puts an incredible amount of strain on a relationship, no matter who is involved.  Few things are as painful as loving somebody who doesn't care about their self.  Certainly much progress has been  made over the past couple of years - even with the move.  Definitely we are happy to get her out of her current program where she seems to have stagnated.  But the fear that things will return to where they were before is very real.  The police, the social workers, CPS breathing down our necks - all because of the choices made by a teen. 

She still enjoys playing the pity card - and that's what got us into trouble to begin with.  When you're a kid, what better way to get attention from people than to tell them your parents "starve" and "torture" you?  Although I think she has come a long way, she still wants people to pity her - and that could lead us right down that same road. 

But it's a chance we'll have to take in order for her to continue healing.  She doesn't deal well with change - even little change.  If things such as changing seats at the dinner table can set her off, changing High Schools is going to be no piece of cake.  If all she does is return to cutting, is it still a success?  In our case I'm going to declare that a win...


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